Posh Restaurant Lover Gifts

Survival of the Foodiest

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Regular service or affected?"

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

'Can I get a box for this?'

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

"We're out of flowers."

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

"Linguini for two?"

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Three Pigs.

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

Repletion.

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"Oops, my bad … It is vinegar."

" and my husband will have..."

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

"I want a big-a*s salad."