Portion Control Pragmatist Gifts

Diet Food...& lots of it

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"They should have quit after deep dish."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

Yes, I Want Fries With That.

Go large or go home!

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

'You are what you eat!'

A natural ratio, all too often dismissed by humankind

Portions of a thin and fat man.

'What do you mean, microbiotic?' 'Very small portions.'

'Our diets are based on out unique 'portion management system'. Basically we ship your portions to Albuquerque so you can't get at them!'

'A good rule of thumb is never to eat anything that won't fit into your microwave.'

"Did in everyone! There's enough for us all to share!"

Diet Plate/Haute Cuisine