Portfolio Punter Gifts

I think the word you are hunting for is 'plummet'.

"The stock option plan, Jenkins, is limited to OUR company."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

The Contrarian funds

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

Have you seen my money?

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

Ask Mister Buck: Financial Expert. "Dear Mister Buck, Is it true that 'money talks'?" Yes, and it drowns out everything else!

'Those? Oh, they're nothing serious, they're just rumor trembles.'

'Ask me about my portfolio.'

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

'That's the trouble with theae Chinese stocks -- an hour later you want to invest again.'

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

"Forget keeping all your eggs in one basket. What you need is a nest egg..."

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

Wall Street walking traffic sign flashes 'Worry' and 'Don't Worry.'

'Before you get into the market, Mr. Root, we need to test your pain threshold!'

Stock Market.

'Ms. Booth, your portfolio is full of sound and fury signifying zero returns.'

"Why does my investment portfolio have a toe tag?"

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

'I've fallen and I can't get up.'

'No. The last time I tried to get my money to work for me it ran off and left me.'

"Well, I changed the signs. Now you can enter your office. Thanks for waiting, sir."

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

"Remember, Mr. Holtz, whatever doesn't destroy you makes you greedier."

"I'd like to file a defamation suit. 'Bear markets' is a derogatory term."

Stock Broker. The market is going through what we like to call "Mad Dow Disease".