Portfolio Punter Gifts

I think the word you are hunting for is 'plummet'.

"The stock option plan, Jenkins, is limited to OUR company."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

The Contrarian funds

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

Have you seen my money?

'Ask me about my portfolio.'

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

'Those? Oh, they're nothing serious, they're just rumor trembles.'

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

'That's the trouble with theae Chinese stocks -- an hour later you want to invest again.'

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

Wall Street walking traffic sign flashes 'Worry' and 'Don't Worry.'

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

'Before you get into the market, Mr. Root, we need to test your pain threshold!'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"Why does my investment portfolio have a toe tag?"

Stock Market.

'Ms. Booth, your portfolio is full of sound and fury signifying zero returns.'

'I've fallen and I can't get up.'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

'No. The last time I tried to get my money to work for me it ran off and left me.'

"Remember, Mr. Holtz, whatever doesn't destroy you makes you greedier."

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

"I'd like to file a defamation suit. 'Bear markets' is a derogatory term."

'What's that terrible smell?'

'Your wealth is no longer on paper. It's in cyberspace.'

"Well, I changed the signs. Now you can enter your office. Thanks for waiting, sir."