Pork Belly Aficionado Gifts

Commodities Exchange. Around here, unloading 50 tons of pork bellies is not a physically demanding task.

Jurassic Pork

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"Let's see, we bought the giant pop corn, tow giant sodas, and a big box of candy. . . we were lucky the megaplex's loan department was open!"

Body by Jake

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Check out the rack on this hot babe.'

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

Matador Artificial Insemination.

Swine flu

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Pig Cheese

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

It wasn't until years later that anyone would think to pop it.

Although rejected by his peers, Slim continued to escape slaughter through diet and exercise.

'Man, this guy's killing me!'

"He's being bred for Hawaiian pizza!"

"I told him he's going to regret it, but what can I do? He's eighteen now."

'Is it slop yet?'

BEER BELLY

Sausage

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

'Common cold? We thought you said 'caramel corn!''

"We got that nasty appendix out Mr. Arnold and I hope you don't mind, but we took a couple of spare ribs as well.

'We want to give him the best possible life before we slaughter him.'

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

'Rats, even this flying carpet we bought on the internet doesn't work! We're really not meant to fly...'

It's my loins. They're tender.