Pig Aficionado Gifts

"Okay, have I got this right? Three weeks ago your husband accepted an invitation to a barbecue and you haven't seen him since?"

"We got that nasty appendix out Mr. Arnold and I hope you don't mind, but we took a couple of spare ribs as well.

'I think it's unfair how people keep referring to us as sexist.'

'This ain't Glastonbury, mate! Piss off!'

'We have to put up with a fair bit to find these truffles, but we think they're worth it.'

'We want to give him the best possible life before we slaughter him.'

Hog Wash.

Low Carb Slop

"Will you be dining a la carte or heading straight over to the trough?"

"Sure Dad, pigs can't fly, but to be precise, can't fly unaided! There are always planes, helicopters, gliders and hot air balloons to consider..."

Swine flu

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

'Shall we order the house wine?'

'Rats, even this flying carpet we bought on the internet doesn't work! We're really not meant to fly...'

Pig with straws

"Let's see! You had roast beef. I had none."

Although rejected by his peers, Slim continued to escape slaughter through diet and exercise.

Catapultist Pig.

"I told him he's going to regret it, but what can I do? He's eighteen now."

'This plug-in air freshner is useless! It still stinks in here.'

Mock Tennial

'Ahhh...'

Head over Hooves

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

'Jurassic Pork.'

Jurassic Pork

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

Hamlet

Dedication to excellence....

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'Life is like a trough, Mr. Fisk. How much slop you get out of it depends on how much slop you put into it.'