Pork Gifts

"Hog Hell"

"They were out of bacon."

The Rooster Comedian.

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

Jurassic Pork

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

'Jurassic Pork.'

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

*=Hotdog

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

'In case of computer crash' (break the glass).

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'Check out the rack on this hot babe.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"Hallelujah!"