Porch Swinger Gifts

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

I think you're ace

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

Looks like the bank's director still inside.

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Where's my horse?'

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"We missed Fashion Week!"

Thursday is the new Friday

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

"This is one of those beautiful summer days when I'm flooded with memories of things that never happened to me."

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

'You're away, Doc!'

'That takes you into double figures and we're not off the tee yet!'

Golf Hil Divot

Calm in the Face of Chaos

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

"I hate sand traps."

"Nice putt."

'I think we'd better work on that swing.'

"Judging by your tan I can see you play golf too."

"The screen porch makes it a home."