Poolside Commentator Gifts

"I'm goin' over. Hell, we're already rounding second."

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Bankside

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

Tentacle attacking diver.

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: When your new best friends down the street install a swimming pool.

No petting in the pool!

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

"Good news, your yacht club membership has arrived!"

'Ha! Fake out!'

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

An elderly couple arrive at Kiddie Pool Buffet, where people are wearing swim suits etc. and serving food from the pool itself.

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

'Bank A' about to jump into to pool of competition followed by banks B and C

Swimming with dad

"Shake! Good dog."

Swimming

'Which is the deep end?'

'Amazing! 140 decibels as he hits the surface! That puts him easily into first!'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

'Get in the house now!'

'...Where did you get all these piranhas?'

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

'Listen Jimmy, as a member of the School Swimming Squad, you're not taking your training seriously enough!'

'Did you know that they can listen in to our telephone conversations?'

Social distancing

'Uh-oh. They are out of ice and looking our way.'

'And some sunshine.'

'There's always one.'