Poolside Commentator Gifts

"I'm goin' over. Hell, we're already rounding second."

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Bankside

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: When your new best friends down the street install a swimming pool.

No petting in the pool!

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

Tentacle attacking diver.

"Good news, your yacht club membership has arrived!"

'Ha! Fake out!'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

Swimming with dad

An elderly couple arrive at Kiddie Pool Buffet, where people are wearing swim suits etc. and serving food from the pool itself.

"Shake! Good dog."

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

Swimming

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

'Bank A' about to jump into to pool of competition followed by banks B and C

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

'Which is the deep end?'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

'Get in the house now!'

'...Where did you get all these piranhas?'

'Amazing! 140 decibels as he hits the surface! That puts him easily into first!'

'What a RIP-off!'

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

'Listen Jimmy, as a member of the School Swimming Squad, you're not taking your training seriously enough!'

Social distancing

'Did you know that they can listen in to our telephone conversations?'

'Uh-oh. They are out of ice and looking our way.'

'And some sunshine.'