Pool Procrastinator Gifts

"Hang on a minute, I'm about to go into a tunnel ..."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Serious Putty

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Beginning Yarder.

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

Housewife: Out of Order.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Gym. I don't need to exercise --- I have an ab crunch on my smart phone!

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

'In that case I'll do nothing!'