Pool Procrastinator Pillows

"Hang on a minute, I'm about to go into a tunnel ..."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Beginning Yarder.

Serious Putty

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Housewife: Out of Order.

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

Still living with parents....

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

'In that case I'll do nothing!'