Ponytail Wrangler Gifts

Caution Road Up

The Baby Walker

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

A child and his dog

The First Day Back

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

Nanny with children on leash

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"He's a rescue."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

"Ciiiiiilaaaantrooooo."

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

Show Jumping Tantrums

Naughty Puppy Dog.

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Menage a Paws.

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."