Pet Wrangler Gifts

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"Man, why do they call it 'doggie-doo' when what they really mean is "doggie-don't"?

People walking their dogs

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

The cat hits a dog with a rake.

When traveling with a cat, the adventure begins long before you go through airport security.

Mad House!

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

The Baby Walker

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

The First Day Back

A child and his dog

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Nanny with children on leash

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"He's a rescue."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

Show Jumping Tantrums

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Naughty Puppy Dog.

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"