Pint-sized Pet Wrangler Gifts

A child and his dog

The Baby Walker

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

Kid tries to lasso a cat

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

The First Day Back

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Nanny with children on leash

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

'Fresh eggs!'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

"He's a rescue."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Show Jumping Tantrums

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Naughty Puppy Dog.

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."