Pint-sized Pet Wrangler Pillows

A child and his dog

The Baby Walker

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

Kid tries to lasso a cat

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

The First Day Back

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'

Nanny with children on leash

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"He's a rescue."

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

'Fresh eggs!'

Show Jumping Tantrums

Naughty Puppy Dog.

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'