Furry Friend Wrangler Pillows

"Can we forget about our dainty little tracks in the snow for five seconds and try to concentrate on what we're out here for?"

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

A child and his dog

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

'OK...now what?'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Ben has his own cute little ways to show his dislike for dry food.'

'Can't one eat in peace!'

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

The difference between cats and dogs.

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

Show Jumping Tantrums

Naughty Puppy Dog.

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

Menage a Paws.

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"OK, so just to recap: Small bowl is you, big bowl is me."