Political Realist Gifts

Richard the Pramatist

"I don't like the looks of that!"

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

A.M Gorky

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

The Revolution Will Not Be Organized

Recession

Labour moderates rallying cry.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

"I'm not particular, I'll take any job that will replace a human."

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

US Dollar weakens.

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

"You are a Democracy! You are free! The sky is the limit!"

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

Squeezing a tight budget...

Political Analysis

"Goodbye cruel world."

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out