Economic Realist Gifts

"I'm not particular, I'll take any job that will replace a human."

'I only make $8 an hour, but fortunately, since they cut my hours, the job doesn't take up much of my time.'

'That does it. . . Little Freddie is not going to law school! He's going to become an oncologist, Mary a gerontologist and Stevie a pharmacist! We'll be covered!'

Lower Middle Class

In Capitalism, Workers Lose Even When They Gain

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

'Wine steward! A bottle of your coldest Thunderbird!'

Man returning from office after being sacked

'I know crime doesn't pay, Mary, but neither does farming.'

'Sorry, Pendleton, but we give raises based on work performance, not on the rising cost of gasoline!'

Bankruptcy Court: Lousy Credit Score is OK.

'In case the worst thing happens to your investments this firm does offer the clients a special service...'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Recession

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

US Dollar weakens.

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

"Goodbye cruel world."

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