Economic Realist Pillows

"I'm not particular, I'll take any job that will replace a human."

'I only make $8 an hour, but fortunately, since they cut my hours, the job doesn't take up much of my time.'

'That does it. . . Little Freddie is not going to law school! He's going to become an oncologist, Mary a gerontologist and Stevie a pharmacist! We'll be covered!'

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

'Wine steward! A bottle of your coldest Thunderbird!'

Man returning from office after being sacked

'I know crime doesn't pay, Mary, but neither does farming.'

'Sorry, Pendleton, but we give raises based on work performance, not on the rising cost of gasoline!'

Bankruptcy Court: Lousy Credit Score is OK.

'In case the worst thing happens to your investments this firm does offer the clients a special service...'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Recession

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

US Dollar weakens.

Squeezing a tight budget...

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

"Goodbye cruel world."

'The bad news is that the dollar is down -- the good news is that nobody seems to have any.'

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

"You say that the best thing I could do for my health is to give up alcohol. Let's talk about the second best..."

Learning from economics

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."