Police Events Gifts

'This is the best I could come up with.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Green Balloon

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

Children's Party

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

Glyndebourne

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"I read 'Art News.'"

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Inhospitality tent.

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."