Past Events Gifts

"I was just reminiscing about the good old days."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

They're Not Just That Into It

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Green Balloon

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

See you at the farmers market!

AA Meeting Here Today

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

Church Basement Foodie

The Official Covid-19 Diet

All dressed up and no place to go

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

Mitt Romney: Double Guantánamo

Putin's birthday cake - blowing up the world.