Police Shows Gifts

Mugshot selfie stick

The Adventures of Wren Tin Tin

Generally, only the perp does that, Jerry.

'I like to watch 'Cops', but why is the guy they're chasing never wearing a shirt?'

'Hey! - Yeah you mister! Pull over now!!'

'Ever notice on these cop shows that the criminals always wear beaters?'

'I was racing home to watch Cops.'

'When I ask you what's the word on the street, I don't mean 'appen!'

"Hic! Now remember...let me do the talking!"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Now that's a win."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

He loves the water.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The Investigation

Police lineup

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."