Police Shows Gifts

Mugshot selfie stick

The Adventures of Wren Tin Tin

'I like to watch 'Cops', but why is the guy they're chasing never wearing a shirt?'

'Hey! - Yeah you mister! Pull over now!!'

"Hic! Now remember...let me do the talking!"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Now that's a win."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The Investigation

Police lineup

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

"The boss says after this you're gonna have to start flossing for yourself."

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

"So this is how it's going to be."

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'