Watching Police Shows Gifts

'Are you the gentleman who called the police?'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Now that's a win."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"#notguilty."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

He loves the water.

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The Investigation

Police lineup

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

"It was me who did it!"

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'