Watching Police Shows Pillows

'Are you the gentleman who called the police?'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Now that's a win."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"#notguilty."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Police lineup

The Investigation

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

"It was me who did it!"

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."