Police Procedural Shows Pillows

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Now that's a win."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The Investigation

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

Moon Line UP

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'