Watching Detective Shows Pillows

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'A piece of skin from the killer's arm, by jove. Let's go back to the lab, clone it, and identify the murderer when he grows up.'

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

"It's a standard deathbed confession, Jimmy. Please don't make us drag out the rubber hoses."

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

"Okay all of you stay right where you are, the murderer may still be near."

"Open and shut case, sir. The butler did it"

He dumped his head in the trashcan ... to make it look like murder ! .... clever !!!!

"According to this, he's not telling us everything he knows, Inspector."

Mind if I come in and have a look around? I have a warrant. Never date the guy investigating your husband's mysterious disappearance.

'Yes inspector, it's another cold blooded murder!'

'Ok, listen up. This nasty piece of work is 'Maurice'. Aka 'The Space Cowboy' aka 'The Gangster of Love'.'

"Unfortunately, I stole the identity of a person with an outstanding warrant."

"Looks like another hit-and-run inspector..."

Inspector Morse on the case

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Joan Hickson

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Now that's a win."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The Investigation

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Doughnut Criminals