Detective Shows Pillows

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Joan Hickson

The Elliot Ness monster.

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"Now that's a win."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"That's hardly necessary!"

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

"Homes on Holmes"

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

Mystery of the Poets

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

Illustration for 'The Notting Hill Mystery'. (woman pulled out of the river).

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'