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'This is the best I could come up with.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

They're Not Just That Into It

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Green Balloon

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

All dressed up and no place to go

Children's Party

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

Glyndebourne

"I read 'Art News.'"

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Inhospitality tent.

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.