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Hoax Squad

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"There is no 'virtual arrest button', you'll have to get off your butt and do it manually."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Oh no a speed camera.'

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"You were going 24,998 in a 24,955!"

Bank Robbery Statistics

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

'Can I have your autograph...?'

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

"You have the right to remain silent."

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

Don't Try Anything Funny.

'Did you drop this £20 note, Sir?' 'Ooh, YES!' 'That will be a £50 fine.'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Arcarde Patrol

"I hate when this happens."

"C'mon man, you got the wrong species."

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."

Police hiding in the ballot box.

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

'Pretty much every case up here is a cold case.'

'Before we go in, try to forget everything you thought you knew about criminal masterminds!'

Street trader tricking police.

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

Might Versus Right.

"Gentlemen, our troubles are over, this is Tony 'The Torch' Barbella"