Police Aficionado T-Shirts

'Perhaps you should walk the beat a bit slower, Brian!'

"Oh, look children. Never mind the lesser spotted green finch. There's something much rarer, a Bobby on the beat!"

Next camera crew 5 mins

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Make it look like an accident.'

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

'Can I have your autograph...?'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

Arcarde Patrol

Don't Try Anything Funny.

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

'I knew him before he became a police dog!'

'I always return to the scene of the crime. Is that normal?'

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Might Versus Right.

"My son is a saint - he's always cooperating with the authorities."

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

'Get me two new officers to play good cop bad cop.'

Street trader tricking police.

'Pretty much every case up here is a cold case.'

"Where were you five minutes ago when someone was stealing my getaway car?"

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

Some mistakenly think 'HOV Lane' means Hot Occupant Vehicles.

'I ain't saying nothing without my literary agent!'

Distrust of the Trust Act