Poise Perfectionist Gifts

Ballerina Deodorant.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Yoga for Alcoholics

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"Could you keep still?"

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

Husband bakes a pie

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Surreal ale

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

Office Ergonomics.

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"It's just a hunch, but you spend a lot time at your computer, don't you?"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

Making it look easy.

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Besties Photo

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Stop staring"

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

Football Crazy.