Pole Perfectionist Gifts

"It won't catch fish."

A man carves a totem pole

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Yoga for Alcoholics

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"Could you keep still?"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

Husband bakes a pie

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Surreal ale

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

Office Ergonomics.

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"It's just a hunch, but you spend a lot time at your computer, don't you?"

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

Making it look easy.

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Besties Photo

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'