Podcast Punster Gifts

'Not a 'podcast' - just a cast.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Dogs life

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

Note Book

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

Mystery of the Poets

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

2B or not 2B

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Optometrist Humor

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

Psychologist Birthdays

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

Claude

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

'I think therefore I ham.'