Pocketbook Ponderer Gifts

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'Social and political revolution? Check out our 'Do It Yourself' section.'

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'