Money Ponderer Gifts

'And remember - happiness can't buy you money.'

"Money won't make you happy."

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Annual profits,

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'Money isn't making you happy? Okay, I'll raise my rate, and we'll see how that works for you.'

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

business

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

Have you seen my money?

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich...

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'