Personal Finance Ponderer Gifts

'I miss the disposable income days.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Annual profits,

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

business

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb