Plumbing Sage Gifts

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Radiator jazz player

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Music producers.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"How can anyone remember Cheech and not remember Chong?"

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'