Playful Pet Partner Gifts

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Barks in code.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'Super Dog'

Mixed Doubles.

Holding hands

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Advanced footsie

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

The Karate Kitten.

Dog Sees Only Food

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

You are simply the Greatest

K9 Literati.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"No you, he called you a lap dog."