Playful Pet Partner Gifts

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Barks in code.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'Super Dog'

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Mixed Doubles.

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

Holding hands

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Advanced footsie

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

The Karate Kitten.

You are simply the Greatest

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Dog Sees Only Food

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'