Playful Dietician Gifts

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

Let's skip to dessert

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

Heart Disease Menu

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

Free Range Chickens

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"If dinner was a reality TV show broccoli would be the first thing I'd vote off!!"

"It's cooties."

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

'I'll trade you, sight unseen.'

Live yogurt.

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."