Light-hearted Nutritionist Gifts

Loved His Carbs.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Diet considerations.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Heart Disease Menu

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

Friendly bacteria

"Well, then - two apples a day."