Light-hearted Nutritionist Gifts

Loved His Carbs.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Diet considerations.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Heart Disease Menu

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"Well, then - two apples a day."

Friendly bacteria

Artificial Isle