Playful Child Pillows

"I see your mom really gets into April Fools Day."

"Just what do you think you're up to?"

'Hey Billy, looks like you picked up a hobo somewhere along the way.'

'I was cleaning my catapult and it went off.'

'I'm warning you, buster -- I'm wearing Wonder Woman underwear!'

". . . and this little piggy said 'to heck with it. Let's all go down to the Market Tavern!'"

"He said the washing machine makes him dizzy."

"Yes, Mason, it's a nice happy face, but that's not how we use toothpaste, is it?"

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Haircuts

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Werewolves of London..."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Honey Wallah

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Hey Mister Petrie, what's the world's record for tennis balls in a retriever's mouth?'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."