Joyful Child Pillows

'If you're a good boy, Santa will bring you tires next year.'

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

'Hey Mister Petrie, what's the world's record for tennis balls in a retriever's mouth?'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Serious Putty

'...that 12th piece of fudge I ate must have been bad.'

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

'Dad, what is peace?'

Curtsey

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

Muy mum rocks.

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

'I was cleaning my catapult and it went off.'

"So, Mrs. Fessler, I understand you're a stand-up comic."

An old, dancing man holding a steaming cup

'Bridges falling down, killer pumpkin eaters...'

'I went to summer school and helped a few teachers decide not to teach there next summer.'

'Do you have bottled spring water?'

A boy holding a balloon

'Please stop...it reminds me too much of the markets.'

'Little girls are made of sugar and spice. Does the American Dental Association know about this?'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

Face Painting.

"How do you know I got this dirt on me. Maybe I'm biodegrading."

"This is one time of year we count our blessings. . . and not our calories."

"I don't suppose we could discuss this when my Mars isn't in opposition to your Sun?"

"I can't believe I'm almost five and I'm just now hearing about the helmet fairy."

'I think they're offering peace feelers.'

'No, I can't be the horse, YOU have to be the horse!'

"He said the washing machine makes him dizzy."

Skipping with a beard.

"You hugging me? Are you hugging me? I don't see anyone else here... YOU HUGGING ME??"

'Of course I forgive you. That's what friends do. How did you know it fell out of my cone?'