Playful Child Gifts

"I see your mom really gets into April Fools Day."

"Just what do you think you're up to?"

'Hey Billy, looks like you picked up a hobo somewhere along the way.'

'I was cleaning my catapult and it went off.'

'I'm warning you, buster -- I'm wearing Wonder Woman underwear!'

". . . and this little piggy said 'to heck with it. Let's all go down to the Market Tavern!'"

"He said the washing machine makes him dizzy."

"Yes, Mason, it's a nice happy face, but that's not how we use toothpaste, is it?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Haircuts

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Werewolves of London..."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'You may now kick the bride.'

Honey Wallah

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'