Playful Animal Haters Gifts

"I know how you feel, but you can't just say you're for animal rights except for cats."

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

'YAY! PATE!'

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

'My mother was a real bitch!'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

Leopards do change their spots

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

'The day has come.'

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

Polly Clinic.

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

'Who says octopuses can't tango? We were doing great until I ate the trumpet player.'

"This has you as three feet tall but I don't see you as more than two and a half."

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

'I'm afraid it's going to make us a laughing stock, dear!'

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

'How come there are no DOG BURGLARS?'

Possum bungee jumping from branch with bungee tail.

Santa Enjoys Venison.

'I think you're confusing self-loathing with lactose intolerance.'

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.