Playful Animal Haters Pillows

"I know how you feel, but you can't just say you're for animal rights except for cats."

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

'YAY! PATE!'

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

'My mother was a real bitch!'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

Leopards do change their spots

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

'The day has come.'

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

'I'm afraid it's going to make us a laughing stock, dear!'

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"This has you as three feet tall but I don't see you as more than two and a half."

'Who says octopuses can't tango? We were doing great until I ate the trumpet player.'

Santa Enjoys Venison.

Polly Clinic.

'How come there are no DOG BURGLARS?'

Possum bungee jumping from branch with bungee tail.

'I think you're confusing self-loathing with lactose intolerance.'

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

'Actually, they like to read, but so little is translated into dog.'