Animal Hater Humor Gifts

'Lance, I know you're not a big fan of rodents...'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Faster, Georges, faster!

"Do me next."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

The americanisation of vulture.

Hats and Food

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Oh Hi!'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Snowmobull

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"Scuba cow"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."