Animalhumorist Gifts

'Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"Do me next."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

The Rooster Comedian.

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Scuba cow"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Oh Hi!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Hats and Food

Snowmobull

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

The americanisation of vulture.