Platypus Admirer Gifts

'I don't walk or talk like a duck do I? So I'm not a duck, I'm a platypus!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

bird interprets modern art

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"Hop in Joey, it's bath time."

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Prisoner still life painting.

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"It's a great work!"

"I've been at loose ends lately."

'Picasso'

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

Landscape Artists

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

'Why, yes madam, these are my paintings. How did you know?'

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

'Just too many choices.'

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

The Big Picture

People with tilted heads looking at crooked art gallery painting

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'