Plastic Surgery Pundit Gifts

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

"Yeah, she's definitely had work done."

Lady regarding man exiting 'Rhinoplasty' room: 'I don't know. I think the sign is abundantly clear.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'You do Botox?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Plastic surgery is a scream.

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

Cosmetic pouches.

'Doctor, I asked for BOTOX injections, not BUTTOCKS injections.'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

'Hi, I'm here to apply for the EXTREME make over talk show!'

"I ran out of plastic skin, so I grafted on her credit cards!"

'I went under the knife. Do you like?'

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

"Most drug lords evade capture by making smarter choices with plastic surgery."

"What have you done? I came in to have my wrinkles removed, instead you given me big breasts!"

Next! (liposuction specialist)

Nose Jobs $2.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

"I told you not to have that boob job."

Old man - 'Who are you?' Glamorous lady - 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

Snowman at cosmetic surgeon: 'I want a smaller carrot.'

'This nip and tuck business - can I have the tuck without the nip?'

"Well I'm out of ideas, here, anyone else want to give this a stab?"

"For my second breast augmentation I added a WiFi hotspot."

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!