Plant Parent With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'I think you've talked it to death, dear.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong."

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

"You stop it, now!"

"Is our owner hot?"

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Mobile Phone Mobile.

Clown watering his flowers.

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

Woolly tofu.

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

"Were the 'Trolls' internet trolls?"

'Tell you what. Let's corner a cat and play 'good dog - bad dog'.'

'A grass box for the children is a wonderful idea.'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Mouse guillotining cats paws which come through his mouse hole

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

"I see you've laid out your garden."

101 uses of a dead cat: wind vane.

Bathing Flowers.