Plant-based Punsters Pillows

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

Hamlet.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

The vegan hunter

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

"Oh, nothing much. Just experimenting with some rabbits."

International Carrot Day April 4th

Go Veggie...

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

Vegan Insomnia

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

"Of course, in life he was allergic to them."

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

Leaflet

'Don't worry - it's made entirely from soya-based meat substitute.'

After 10 years, the great potato race of 1997 was finally declared a tie.